La gringita working construction in Ecuador...

I have been told that my last blog had a “wrapping things up” feel to it. It kind of did. I am going through a bit of senioritis here...

My project begins the final stage of construction tomorrow. That means I will have a couple weeks of being super busy. I am no longer excited to be working on the project, I am just ready to be done. I will be explaining this below...Sorry if it has a "ranting" feel to it...

It is funny how some of the worst days in Ecuador are also some of the best. Two days in the last couple weeks qualify. These are the days we completed the most on the project but I spent the whole day fuming. My big frustrations aren’t always language or time, I have gotten strangely used to those problems. However, the cultural differences are what still get to me. The worst part is being the only woman working with many old, sexist Ecuadorian men. (Who think you should be cooking them lunch…and tell you that…)

Most days I only work with 4 or 5 men. That is fine. We share ideas, they teach things, I teach things. It is the days when there are a ton of men, that is when they decide I must not know what I am doing.

The other day I showed up to a minga that no one told me about. There were about 20 people, a back hoe, a concrete mixer and no one leading the show. I am good at knowing what needs to be done and at verbalizing it…usually. Here, people will not listen to me, partly because I have an accent (which makes me difficult to understand) and partly because I am a woman. I spent the day whispering in the ears of the “leaders” about what needs to be done, so they would act like it was their idea and direct other people. Many other little tasks I saw that needed to be done, I was running around crazily doing.

Even though I designed the project and know every inch of it, instead of asking what the plan is, they continue to change things without asking (many of these things can’t be changed because of USAID rules). I have to run around a give orders that we have to pay all the money back to USAID if they build it that way and we have to stick to the original plan.

With the mixer, we were making good quality concrete. The chemicals we were using and the help of the mixer, meant we could use less water than we normally do (when we make it by hand), it also meant that the concrete would dry faster. When lunch time came around they left a ton of wet concrete just lying there (for an hour, in the Ecuadorian sun), instead of taking a half hour to make sure it was level and finished. I spent my lunch hour finishing and wetting and covering the concrete with plastic. When they came back, everyone acted like the good quality concrete was a bad thing because it dried quicker…grrr…

I am also run down by the daily blaming events…I am usually the one who takes blame, because I am one of the few people taking any responsibility for the project and the funds. However, everyone seems to overlook how the design, materials, and budget have been right-on. True, I didn’t know how many days to book the construction managers…I took the advice of people here because I admittedly have never done this before. I also knew I would be even more incorrect because of this country's scheduling skills and hand done labor. I get reminded by the president of the group everyday how I was wrong about something I admittedly asked him for help on.

Ecuadorians can be particularly bad at taking responsibility. It can be compared via language…. Americans use the phrase “my bad” or "my fault" when a mistake is made. To say “I dropped the fork” in Spanish, you would translate “The fork dropped itself”. Of course, it couldn’t be a person’s fault…it is the fork’s. People avoid leadership positions in the community because that is where the responsibility falls.

I do try to check my attitude. I know that I live in a different country with different customs, and I have to respect them. In most situations, I don't have a problem with this. However, discrimination because I am a woman is not OK to me. And that is where most of my frustration lies these days, because of the type of work I am doing.

I have talked to new volunteers and their enthusiasm is high…I am just not mentally there anymore. I have to remind myself to not be a downer when talking to them. I even met a guy who is here volunteering with another organization and he is in the process of applying to Peace Corps. I tell him it is a great organization…as long as you have realistic expectations...and know you probably won't be happy with your situation, most people aren't.

Saying that, I knew what to expect. I knew it would be lonely and frustrating and sexist. I still consider myself very fortunate. I have a grant and a project and a community that wants to better itself. I am glad to have done Peace Corps, I love my community and most of the people I work with.